A Sequel Triple Bill

Off boozing this weekend, so patching together a hasty entry here, with scant regard for quality or high standards. Have the makers of the following done the same?


John Wick 2 (Chad Stahelski, 2017) is pretty much the same as the first John Wick, with a little more kung-fu thrown in. Essentially, it's a violent video game which someone will adapt into a film one day. Here John Wick fails again to retire peacefully and instead spends his time killing the hell out of various assassins and henchmen. Whenever Neo....*consults notes*...sorry.....John Wick is dispatching said rivals in slickly choreographed but rather soulless action sequences, it is mildly entertaining. But it is hopelessly stupid stuff, even dumber than a bag of Johnny Utahs. That's pretty dumb, people, best make sure you're hopelessly drunk before you watch it.


The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (Michael Mitchell, 2019) makes a valiant attempt to rebuild a creation with the same charm and anarchic humour of The Lego Movie. Here, our Lego heroes Emmet, Lucy, Batman and friends face an impending Lego Apocalypse, which we now know is related to events occurring in the real world. It moves between both worlds as things progress, but although the central themes here are good, it's less funny, more muddled and simply not as well put together as the first one, Sadly, everything is not as awesome as before.


Split (M. Night Shymalan, 2016) isn't really a sequel until a surprise end scene reveals that actually it sort of is. James McAvoy has a lot of fun here playing various versions of Kevin Wendell Crumb, a kidnapper with a multiple personality disorder who is keeping three comely girls captive in his lair. Indeed I hoped it wouldn't set the long-dormant voices in my own head off.....
*
This was fantastic!
*
No it wasn't, it was shite!
*
Shut up, you two or I'll tell on you. It was somewhere in between ; silly but fun.
*
I liked the bits with the girls in their underwear.
*
Oh for God's sake, stop drooling on us, and put that thing away! You know I don't like seeing it.
*
Oh yeah? Well it's my body too! You don't even wash it properly!
*
Did you know this is a sequel?
*
Really? To what?
*
Er.....Herbie Goes Bananas, I think.
*
Enough chit-chat, our host is regaining awareness let's take an average score.
*
You're not the boss of us! No wait, you are. 

What? Where? Sorry, folks, must have dozed off there for a bit. Strange. Anyway that was all a bit silly and all over the place, with poor use of language and stumbling badly towards the end. A bit like me this weekend! WAHEYYY!

No comments:

Post a comment