A Word from The Fonz

Dear Reader

My name is The Fonz. You may know me from such shows as Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi. But probably the former.

I have taken time out of my busy schedule to write a little about Declan McKenna, the creator of the blog you are now reading. I feel partly responsible for this and for that I am truly sorry.

I first encountered Declan back in LA one evening, when I found him scavenging through my bins. He cut a pitiful figure, dressed in rags and with a banana skin hanging from his mouth, and my heart was moved by his plight. I invited him into my home, cleaned and dressed him, and gave him some proper food to eat. Before long, I had gained his trust and I set about teaching him to speak properly. He was clearly mentally deficient, but under my patient instruction he eventually learned to use some rudimentary words, such as 'Please', 'Hello' and 'Correctomundo!' After that, I was able to introduce him to my Hollywood circle of friends, although many were disconcerted by his strange looks, his gibbering and his periodic incontinence.

Me with Declan (in front) during his difficult
gender-identity crisis years
Years passed and although I had become fond of him, it soon became apparent Declan yearned to leave the sanctuary of my home to see the world for himself. He had often talked of his wish to set up a film blog, so it seemed only fair to let him try, even though the Internet had not been invented and no-one understood what he was on about. But he seemed adamant so it was with a heavy heart that I waved him off as he set off on his travels, a bit like that dog from The Littlest Hobo, only a little less groomed and lot less intelligent.

You can only imagine my delight and surprise when I opened an email back in 2011 from Declan to discover he had indeed fulfilled his dream and launched his own film blog "The Fast Picture Show". It was (and still is) an undoubtedly terrible effort; amateurish, poorly designed and lacking in credibility. But even ugly babies need love and this abomination of a website he had birthed was the culmination of a long journey for him. Thus, I was happy to accept his request to be a special guest reviewer for each of his movie reviews.

Despite my best efforts, I never succeeded
in making Declan cool
If you have somehow stumbled upon this blog, please accept my apologies for my part in exposing you to such an inept display of internet usage. However, please do take into account where Declan has come from and how far he has traveled to get here. He may not be perfectamundo, but which of us are? After all, even I jumped a shark once.

Your friend

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