The BFG (Steven Spielberg, 2016)

What's it about? Oh, don't be propsposterous! How could you not know about Roald Dahl's classic story of the friendship between the lonely orphan Sophie and the dream-blowing, gobblefunk-speaking Big Friendly Giant? That's redunculus and um-possible!

Is it any good? A gentle, feel-good adaptation, thanks mainly to a wonderfully warm and - yes - friendly performance from Mark Rylance as the BFG. He may be motion-captured but his personality shines through the CGI and his perfect accent wraps around and delivers the BFG's idiosyncratic vocabulary with majester ease. Opposite him, Ruby Barnhill makes for a sweetly unaffected Sophie and their tender relationship gives a bit of substance to an otherwise slight tale. But whilst Dahl's book never had the strongest plot, his ideas were splendiferous and Spielberg works his usual magic in bringing them to the screen. From the bewitching opening scenes during which Sophie first catches sight of the BFG, to dreamy dream-catching in the Land of Dreams to the rotsome man-eating giants in Giant Country, it's all beautifully realized. And of course there's the whizz-popping, particularly enjoyable in a gloriumptious scene towards the end which will bring a smile to the face of even the grumpiest human bean. That said, the darker edge to Dahl's writing has been softened (no deliciously horrible discussion on the taste of children from different nations) and it's too insubstantial to be filed with top-tier Spielberg. But even if it never scales those heights, it's still a nice, enjoyable film - expect it to become an annual Christmas favourite on the telly-telly bunkum box.

I don't trust you. What do others think? Astonishingly, this is shaping up to be that rarest of things: a Steven Spielberg flop, following a less-than-stellar return at the box-office thus far. Some mixed reviews, a lack of stars and gently paced trailer have all apparently combined to put punters off, especially in light of tough competition from Finding Dory. It has all raised the alarming and skumping prospect that neither Spielberg nor Dahl impress little chidlers nowadays! I haven't been so disgusted at something since the last time I ate a snozzcumber.

What does the Fonz think? Nice and jumbly!

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