Movember Movie Madness

So as you might know it's the month of Movember, when men (well, mostly men) allow whiskers to sprout on their hitherto smooth faces and cultivate a moustache, all in the aid of charity. The results can range from scary to manly to pitiful, but at least they tried, godammit! At least they did that! To inspire those currently grooming their hairy creations, here's 10 of the best movie moustaches.

Groucho Marx as featured in the Marx Brothers films

Not only did his moustache grow across his face, when it ran out of space it grew
into his head and re-emerged above his eyes to form two
supporting mini-moustaches.

Oliver Hardy as featured in the Laurel & Hardy films

The button moustache made popular by Chaplin and, er, Hitler.
But it looks better on a fat face.

Yosemite Sam as featured in the Looney Tunes cartoons

Yosemite Sam's moustache is connected to his eyebrows. And it's ginger.
That's two utterly awesome things on one face.

Fu Manchu as played by a host of actors in the Fu Manchu films

If you're planning on being an evil criminal mastermind, this is the look for you.
Perfect for stroking as you contemplate your dastardly deeds

Mr Potato Head as featured in the Toy Story films

Plastic perfection. Not a single hair out of place.
Wish I could shave as easily as him.

Clark Gable as featured in Gone With the Wind

Ah, the pencil thin moustache so beloved of the rogueish cad.  
Gable beats off stiff (upper lip) competition from Errol Flynn,
Basil Rathbone, William Powell, Terry Thomas et al to get make the list.

John Holmes as featured in over 10,000 porno films

The main reason why 70s porn will always be associated with moustaches.
That moustache has been places you wouldn't even put your foot.


Val Kilmer, Sam Elliot, Kurt Russell & Bill Paxton as featured in Tombstone

Not having a moustache in the Wild West often led to impromptu lynchings.
Also, to date, it has never been determined if Sam Elliot's moustache is actually
a moustache or an Old English Sheepdog. 

Donald Sutherland as featured in The First Great Train Robbery

Donald has sprouted facial hair for many a movie, but the pinnacle
came with this awesome sideburn-moustache combo.
Lesser men have died trying to recreate this look.

Burt Reynolds as featured in Smokey & the Bandit

No list of moustaches is complete without Burt's. It is now estimated that
at the height of his popularity in the 70s, every time Burt turned his moustache
to the camera and gave that cheesy shit-eating grin,
16 women became spontaneously pregnant.
In fact, if you're a woman looking at this now,
you better get yourself checked out.

So to all those Mo Bros out there who are beginning to look like cowboys, hillbillys, porn stars and tramps, I salute you and your hairy lips!

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