Confidential information about TV series Lost

The following transcript was leaked to The Fast Picture Show by a source close to the Lost production team and represents a summary of a series of conversations regarding the direction of the series.** Some plot spoilers included.

JJ Abrams : So what have we got?
Fellow Writers: A frigging brilliant idea. People crash-land on an island, all sorts of weird shit happens, then ...get this... it turns out they're in Purgatory and they're all dead!
JJ Abrams : Brilliant! Let's do it

*1st episode screens*

Audience: Wow! That was class. Do you think the island might be Purgatory or something?
JJ Abrams : We got a hit, lads. Now let's string it out for another series
Fellow Writers (morose): But the audience guessed our super-secret twist straight away!
JJ Abrams : So we'll change it
Fellow Writers : But it won't make sense then
JJ Abrams: Lads, it doesn't really make sense now. And besides, remember, people will watch any old bollocks as long as you never explain anything. Ever!
Fellow Writers (unconvinced): Not sure, we haven't really got a clue where we're going with this now.
Audience: Wow! We have no idea what's going on. But we have faith the writers know where they're going.

(Repeat above dialogue for 6 years)

JJ Abrams :  Well lads, wrap it up, we had a good run, we're all rich, let's finish it 
Fellow Writers : But we don't know how to end it.
JJ Abrams :  Remember, don't explain anything. Just make it emotional, that'll cloud people's judgement
Fellow Writers : Nothing? Not even the Purgatory thing?
JJ Abrams : Well, maybe that, but make reality Purgatory or something twisty-turny like that.
Fellow Writers : Okay, that's never been done.

*Final episode screens*

Half of Audience: I cried because it was so emotional, the last 6 years have been special
Other half of Audience: I cried because they explained nothing, the last 6 years have been wasted.
Half of Audience: You didn't understand it, it was good!
Other half of Audience: Yes we did, it was still bollocks!

*Repeat to fade*

** May not be true.

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